For most people, trying to handle the various tasks associated with the death of a family member or friend can be extremely difficult. Therefore, they appreciate any help that can be provided concerning the collection of the information needed to process and complete the various paperwork, certificates, and permits needed by the funeral home regarding the funeral.
With the increasing use of technology in the funeral business, many tasks that use to be done exclusively on paper can now be done with computers either on the Internet or directly at the funeral home.
This use of technology has many benefits for funeral home directors and their staff. In addition, the use of technology helps the grieving families in a variety of ways such as reducing stress, making the collection of information more efficient, and allowing the needed information to be processed quicker.
Recently a new tool was released that will make it easier for families to provide the information needed regarding a death certificate for the deceased. The new tool is a free online death certificate form that allows families to go online to enter the information required to process and file a death certificate. Once the information is completed online by family members using the online death certificate form, an email is sent to the designated funeral home staff who use the information to obtain a death certificate for the deceased. Moreover, the free online death certificate tool is helpful to funeral homes because it allows the staff at funeral homes several helpful options for acquiring the information needed to process a death certificate.
Conveniently Give Death Certificate Information Online
The death of a love one is a very emotional time. During this time, many things need to be done. One of the most important is providing the funeral home with the information needed for the deceased’s death certificate. Without the needed information, a death certificate cannot be processed and filed, and a death certificate is needed before a burial or cremation permit can be issued. Therefore, the death certificate is very important. As a result, the utilization of the free online death certificate tool serves three vital roles that are:
Allow the family members the opportunity to complete the required information online for the death certificate whenever it is difficult to arrange a time for the family members to meet at the funeral home to provide the information.
Allow the family members the opportunity to complete the required death certificate information online before they come to the funeral home so they can speed-up the death certificate process.
Allow the family members to avoid a situation where they meet at the funeral home to provide the death certificate information but cannot provide all the information needed during the meeting, which will slow down the death certificate process.
All funeral professionals, funeral home directors, and funeral home staff are encouraged to visit Cremation Solutions.com to utilize the free online death certificate tool. This tool helps to make the collection of information for a death certificate quicker and more efficient.
The differences are be subtle but they are there nonetheless. The biggest is probably that people do not usually do the “chicken dance” at a funeral, and even if someone does, it rarely catches on.
At a funeral, depressed people cry and scream in pain, this does not happen until months after a wedding.
At a funeral, teary eyed mourners step up to the podium to eulogize the departed. At a wedding reception a drunken idiot stands at the podium and makes an inappropriate toast about the time he bagged the bride.
After a funeral the guest of honor leaves in a long black limousine,
Exceptions Are Rare!
while the guests of honor at a wedding leave in a puke green Honda Civic with a crumpled fender and tin cans dragging behind them. No one writes cute little sayings in soap on the rear window of the hearse either.
If the groom is not up for the wedding night there’s always Viagra! and it works for while, but with embalming the whole body is stiff and theirs no need to call your doctor after four hours.
You will only have one funeral.
When funeral services end, people go home and reflect on the life of a lost friend or relative. When weddings end, people end up in all sort of places, some vomit uncontrollably in a holding cell.
The gifts are usually better at weddings. Re- gifting for funerals is just not cool.
It’s considered tacky to do the “hokey pokey” at a funeral but at a wedding …. well, never mind.
One More Dance With Grandma….Anyone?
Bands have a hard time booking gigs at funerals but no problem turning a wedding into a wake.
The music is better at funerals, and no one is jealous of the attention the guest of honor receives.
Funerals end at the graveside; weddings in the lawyer’s office.
Weddings require months of planning and cost a small fortune to pull off. Funeral Planning takes a few days and is usually more entertaining.
Funerals don’t have after parties, just after lives.
At a woman’s funeral, her friends are not forced to wear hideous dresses so they don’t upstage the corpse.
Weddings are blessed affairs in which two lovers are united forever in the eyes of God, and their families become one, sharing holidays, breaking bread, loaning money, and opening their homes to each other. A funeral finally puts an end to all that bullshit.
It’s Not Cool to Bring a Date to Funerals, Elvira is The Exception!
At a wedding single women scramble to catch the bride’s garter, signaling that they will be next. The tradition isn’t nearly as popular at funerals. Again Elvira is the exception!
If you shove a piece of cake in a corpse’s face, no one cheers.
Funeral Crashers Are Rare!
After a funeral people fight over who gets what, but after a wedding the bride knows just what shell get! …OK, that might be a bad example.
Falling in love and getting married makes the couple feel like they were struck by lightning, a corpse just feels like it was struck by a bus.
The deceased goes straight to heaven while a marriage goes straight to hell.
People attending a funeral come to show their respect to a dearly departed loved one. People only go to weddings for the open bar.
Paulbearer
Weddings have an adorable ring bearer. Funerals just have pallbearers, and they aren’t usually that adorable either.
An Elvis impersonator can perform a wedding at a drive through chapel. Try the same thing at a funeral and everyone acts like you are some kind of jerk.
A funeral marks the end of a person’s life. A wedding marks the end of two lives.
At a funeral, the mother-in-law stops being such a bitch.
When a funeral ends guests leave the church and move to the cemetery, after a wedding guests move to the banquet room of the Motel 6.
Nobody buys the deceased a toaster, and if you do everyone gets really pissed off.
The deceased’s make-up is usually better than the bride’s.
As humans, we like to think of ourselves as evolved, after all we are at the top of the food chain, but somewhere along the way we’ve lost our inner sense of value and compassion for a human life. When a loved one was lost, having a funeral was automatic, followed by a period of deep mourning that would last for weeks, months, or even years.
Somewhere along the way we’ve become a disposable society that has lost our ability to value life. In the past, when a loved one passed away, we used to hold three-day wakes prior to the funeral. However, in recent times people moved on to more a memorial service at the convenience of the family. That is the sad reality of how humans have evolved in the grieving process in the age of technology. As technology has progressed and lifestyles have become more hurried the grieving process has gotten to the point where it’s become almost forgotten. We as humans need to remember what’s really important and start setting aside time to honor our dead loved ones and pay our respects.
It might surprise you to find out that humans are not the only animals that grieve the loss of their loved ones or hold vigils. Many members of the wild animal kingdom celebrate the lives of their loved ones in ways that would put us as a society to shame. We should all take a lesson from the way they lovingly hold vigils over the bodies of their loved ones and protect them, about the value of life and our presence here on earth.
Elephants
Elephants are the most compassionate of all wild animals when it comes to mourning death and loss. They have even been known to extend this compassion to elephants that aren’t related to them as well as other animals and even humans. They have a true respect for all life forms that we should take a lesson from.
When elephants encounter the body of a deceased animal they always stop and try to lift it to its feet several times using their trunks. If they are unsuccessful in their attempts, they will sniff and poke it before burying it with leaves, branches, grass, dirt, or whatever is available.
After burying the body, they usually leave. However, if the deceased animal was a relative they will remain by the body for several days or weeks mourning the loss of their loved one, leaving only to get food or water. Sometimes elephants will even become depressed and even starve themselves in reaction to their loss.
Dolphins
When a member of a dolphin pod dies, the other members will stay with the body and rally together to keep any potential harm from coming to the body. If something tries to move towards the body the other dolphins will become agitated and loom around to prevent it from getting too close.
The other members of the dolphin pod usually lift the body close to the surface and stay with it for several days while they try to come to terms with the loss of their loved one. They only leave the body when absolutely necessary to get air.
Chimpanzees
When chimpanzees lose a loved one they become very depressed and saddened much like we do. They mourn together as a group and comfort each other. However, they have a deeper grieving process than ours. Often, they will get so upset and depressed that they will refuse food.
Chimpanzees have a very interesting grieving process. The grieving and separation process takes them a little bit more time. We have often heard people say that they aren’t ready to let go yet, or that they aren’t ready to say goodbye yet. The chimpanzee doesn’t let go or say goodbye until they are ready.
They will maintain their routines and interrelate with their loved one for weeks or months until their loved one’s body has decayed so badly that they are unable to continue to do so. Only then will they leave their loved one to rest. This routine gives them more time to accept the loss of their loved one, so that they can feel closure in their hearts.
Gorillas
When a Gorilla loses a loved one, they mourn the loss quite deeply. They will pound on their chests and howl loudly. They will also hold informal wakes and funerals, at which other members of their gorilla family will come in, view the body, smell and touch it. If it’s a close family member, some gorillas have been known to become very depressed and stop eating.
Wolves
When a member of a wolf pack dies all of the other members of the pack become extremely depressed and it takes them weeks to recover from their loss. With drooping ears and tails, they resist playing to pay homage to their lost friend.
Magpies
Magpies also mourn the loss of their fellow feathered friends and hold funerals of sorts. When they encounter a deceased bird they will first try to revive it with their beaks. If that doesn’t work, they will cry loudly. Ultimately, they will cover it with grass, straw or whatever they can find, pay their respects, and then fly off.
What We as Humans Should Learn From This
Life is busy, but it’s not so busy that we can’t take the time to grieve and acknowledge the loss when a loved one dies. Attending a funeral service for your loved one isn’t just about you or how busy you are. It’s about them, and supporting their family members and other friends.
We as a society should take a lesson from our friends in the animal kingdom and learn to value our lives and the lives of our loves ones. Although the extremes to which wild animals grieve such as starving would not be appropriate for human life, we should take heed to their caring and gentle way of holding vigil over their friends who have passed away and put ore thought into funeral planning.
The way these animals painstakingly hold vigils in much the same way as we used to hold wakes should remind us how important that time is to help us cope with the loss of our loved ones, and to help us get through the grieving process. Not only does it allow us the opportunity to honor our deceased loved ones, but it gives us a chance to say goodbye.
Grieving and supporting each other is crucial when it comes to accepting the loss of a loved one. A wake and a funeral gives friends and family the opportunity to see their loved one for a final time, and a chance to say goodbye. That little bit of closure, and that opportunity to stand vigil and be close to their loved one, one final time is important to the coping and grieving process.
Funeral homes deal with the dead, but there’s a even darker, more invisible force sneaking up on funeral homes. It erodes the profitability of the funeral homes with stark efficiency. Even though funeral homes serve a localized group of people doesn’t stop this force, because it’s everywhere. It’s the Internet. It’s used to find cremation services, funeral planning and find funeral products. Competition from the Internet can easily destroy funeral homes. More specifically, it’s your competition that uses search engine optimization in their funeral home websites and internet based wholesalers. The Internet is the address of your competition and they are right in the living rooms of your future families. Yes you can compete, but funeral home owners can stop their competition with the power of SEO.
You May Have Never Heard of Them But Their Parked Out Front
The Invisible Force
The wholesale and retail Internet based companies are popping up all over the web. They use effective Search Engine Optimization (SEO) on their sites to make their websites the first one funeral product or service seekers see. This ruins the average funeral home’s ability to obtain customers via the web. The Internet steals local customers by ranking higher in web search results then actual regional and local funeral homes. It is even more devastating to funeral home profitability. These optimized sites reel in your funeral homes potential customers and snatch them out of your grasp with professionally written SEO website copy that target your area.
S.C.I Does a Good Job Competing Online
Effects On Your Business
The Internet is an gigantic, invisible force that snatches and steals your business’s future. You may already be feeling the effects of the invisible competition from the Internet. Perhaps, fewer individuals are buying your urns, coffins, and printed commemorative pieces. You might not have a potential customer for days or even weeks. That’s the Internet sending your potential business to competing funeral homes with SEO websites that aren’t even in your area.
Decrease in Volume is a Decrease in Sales
Perhaps, the first time funeral home owners see when the Internet starts messing up their business is the decrease in product sales. Individuals seeking your services have already bought the urn or casket. They turn down printed commemorative bookmarks or something similar. They’re bringing their own and doing funerals themselves, with the help of online discounters. The Internet may even play apart in them finding another funeral home that associates with he online discounters to take their business elsewhere. Yes they are willing to drive long distances to reach into your neighborhood.
Decrease In Customers
The younger generation is increasingly using the Internet to find and vet funeral homes. They are also using it for funeral planning and finding cremation services. These leads to fewer customers overall for funeral home, getting the beat down by Internet based wholesale and competitors with stronger website SEO. These customers are all going to funeral homes and wholesalers that use SEO or websites with stronger SEO.
Lay Offs and Mounting Bills
The loss of sales and customers leads to laying off your staff and mounting bills. The results are horrible. Funeral home owners face the stress of a failing business and often it isn’t pretty and has nothing to do with how good a job the funeral home does. It may affect your family. The mounting bills become a burden; your business has operating costs, such as building rent, staff, electric and other monthly expenses.
Closing Your Doors
The funeral home cost more to maintain, then it’s bringing in financially. Because of the invisible competing from the Internet, the business fails. Even, funeral homes in operation for 30 years have and can succumb to the force of the Internet on businesses. That’s the end of a business, which may have been in a family for generations.
The Solution
There’s only one answer to the business killing forces of discount stores and funeral homes with SEO websites. That’s to become one of them. Piling on the SEO on your funeral home’s website will help. Hiring a professional Funeral Home SEO strategist is even better. They’ve got insider knowledge of how to use the Internet to your business’s advantage and you won’t have to spend precious time in researching SEO techniques.
Can't Beat Em Join Em
Moreover, your competition certainly has a SEO strategist and your funeral home needs the same advantages as your competition. Otherwise, your funeral home can’t compete with the power of the Internet. The effects in the section above will certainly happen to your funeral home. It might be slow. It might be fast, but it means 10, 15 or even a 100 years of you and your family serving your community is down the drain.
It’s such a simple solution, but it’s the future of your business. You can hire a professional SEO strategist and listen to them. They’ll do the work of getting a business site, filling it with your products, services and business details and optimizing it for search engines. All you have to do is, watch as your funeral home regains its profitability as more funerals take place and more products are sold. SEO is your invisible super power. Or you can just let your invisible competition force you to hang a “Gone Out of Business” sign on the front door of your funeral home.
Learn More Here
Consumer demands and social innovations are changing the funeral home business. Funeral Home SEO has the technology and know-how to assist you in developing your funeral home business to meet those evolving demands. Contact us today to discover how your funeral home business can benefit from our services and expertise. #877-365-9474 or info@cremationsolutuions.com and I will connect you with the experts!
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It seems like zombies are all the rage right now. From hit television shows to blockbuster movies, everyone is fascinated with the undead. While most people enjoy their fix of the undead and then turn off the television or leave the theater, for a small group of people, when it comes to death there is no escape.
The funeral service industry isn’t a glamorous career, but it’s a necessary one and can be most rewarding helping people through a difficult part of life. So how do those that deal with death on a daily basis handle the popularity of zombies? For a funeral director, a zombie infestation is a nightmare for several reasons. It’s the absolute worst possible situation in your industry and watching Zombies in action can conflict with job performance. Just like an airline pilot wouldn’t want to watch a films about a plane crashes, a cruise ship captain wouldn’t want to watch Titanic and a foodie wouldn’t want to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, it’s just not good for your overall health!
My Daughter Jena is a Real Heart Breaker!
Let’s face it – zombies are bad enough on the general population. It’s a messy affair with the dead ambling around, blood gushing everywhere and just lots of general gore. But zombies are even worse on the funeral directors and embalmers. Why? Let’s take a look. All Zombies start out as dead people. Funeral Directors work hard to make the dead look peaceful and then BAM!. Freaking Zombies mess up all our hard work. Not knowing when they will change just keeps us on edge all the time. Some complain that Zombies are driving the cremation rate even higher!. Progressive funeral director in Pennsylvania, Caleb Wilde now ties the deceased shoes together, making them even slower when the change comes while providing a more entertaining Zombie experience.
Outside of a cemetery, a funeral home or mortuary has the highest concentration of deceased bodies. So should zombies start rising from the dead, you’re at an immediate disadvantage because you’re outnumbered.
Where Did He Go!
How’s this for nightmare fuel for a mortician: imagine your working with the dead and then one starts that irritating moaning from inside a casket you just positioned perfectly! Then you hear it from the one next to it. Then, the one beside it. When the locks start breaking and bodies start crawling out, that job at Home Depot is looking good.
Or imagine a family is having a service for a loved one when the dearly departed sputters to life, shuffles out of their casket and starts terrorizing the family? I’d imagine that family member screaming and running out of your funeral home in terror isn’t exactly the image you’re looking to project. Can you say lawsuit!. It’s just not good for business.
The Fat One's Are The Worst
But aside from just the “nightmare” scenarios, there are actually practical reasons a zombie apocalypse would be a death knell for the funeral industry. “But you’d still need funerals once the zombies are killed!” you say. That’s just not the same – for several reasons!
First off, the whole “viewing” part of a funeral couldn’t happen. Often times, people at a funeral will say, “He looks so peaceful” or “She looks so natural”? But the fact that you have to kill zombies with a head shot or decapitation pretty much renders that useless. It can look “just like her” with a pair of holes in her head!
Embalming does not kill Zombies and that’s a problem!. Since zombies keep moving around, normal embalming becomes a pain in the ass. Embalmers for the first time are having to implore restraining straps. One skilled embalmer told me she has been adding a step of cutting the trac and removing the voice box. This has completely stop purge from the mouth and nose as well as stopped all that annoying moaning!. This triggered me to consider teeth removal to inhibit all that messy biting! Without preservation, a zombie’s body (which as mentioned in the last paragraph, probably isn’t in good shape) would deteriorate far too quickly to have any sort of service. Of course, that assumes you’d provide services to a zombie in the first place! No restoration and no preservation? Another strike for funeral homes.
And since you’ve got several layers of “death” in the zombie universe (the initial person’s death, the death of a zombie, etc.), how do you handle a situation where someone passes away, but the becomes a zombie? They don’t exactly need their casket, and your services were useless, so can the family ask for a refund?
Always Looking For Handouts!
As anyone who works in a funeral home knows, we don’t like it when bodies start to twitch or make a sounds. With the resurgence of zombies in popular culture recently, I’m sure it’s given more than one person a brief heart attack. Josh Slocum of the Funeral Consumers Alliance has been warning the public that funeral directors should avoid the whole zombie phenomenon because Zombies don’t need funerals and have no known negative effects on the public.
So if you someone in the industry does choose to partake in a little undead entertainment, how do they deal with it? For starters, know that since zombies are (hopefully) relegated to the small screen, your industry is going to be around for a long, long time. Also, be happy that people are fascinated with death. That’s good for business. And as I mentioned above, if you institute a “no refunds” policy, you’ll get to double dip. You’ll have a service for the initial passing, and then another one when they take a shotgun blast as they’re trying to gnaw on a cousin’s leg. I recommend Cremation services and a nice urn as a zombie solution!
But what’s the best thing someone in the funeral industry can take away from the zombie resurgence? I’m sure The Walking Dead can offer you some pretty good survival tips, should…. well, you know.
If you were a child back in the 90s, you probably know who Rasputin was from the Anastasia movie. Even though there is no way to know for sure what happened, it is believed that the Romanov family plotted to off Rasputin using cyanide. After consuming the wine laced with poison, he was still alive. He was shot and left for dead, but when the family returned to check on him, he was still kicking. They shot him again, bludgeoned him using a rubber club, bound him, wrapped him in a sheet and threw him into the river. When the body was pulled from the river, he had managed to free one of his arms.
Moon River
Li Bai, a well-known Chinese poet, is legendary in the Chinese culture. Story has it that he drowned after he fell out of his boat while on the Yangtze River. Sources say he was trying to embrace the moon’s reflection.
Dinner OD
Sweden’s king, Adolf Frederick, literally ate himself to death. His last meal consisted of caviar, lobster, kippers, sauerkraut, champagne and 14 helpings of semla, his favorite dessert.
Acquittal is a Must
Back in 1871 in Ohio, a man was shot and killed during a bar fight. Clement Vallandigham, the attorney for the defendant, argued that the victim is the one who killed himself by trying to get his pistol out of his pocket when he was kneeling down. To prove the case, he demonstrated the act in front of the jury. He grabbed a gun that he didn’t think was loaded. In the process of acting out the scene, he ended up killing himself. Since he proved the point, the defendant, Thomas McGehan, ended up being acquitted.
Death by a Turn of Irony
Toronto lawyer, Garry Hoy, consistently threw himself against the glass of the Toronto-Dominion Centre to demonstrate its durability. Even though he was fine all of the other times, this time the glass gave out and he fell 24 stories. In reality, the glass popped out of the frame, so Hoy was right in its durability.
Saw VIII
It Was A Real Bomb!
Back in August of 2003, Brian Douglas Wells, was killed from a bomb that was secured around his neck when he was caught trying to rob a bank. Once he was apprehended by the police, the bomb exploded. He claimed he was forced to do it, but he was in on the whole scheme. He never thought the bomb was real. The purpose behind the whole thing was so that a prostitute would have the money she needed to pay a hitman to kill her father. The stolen money wasn’t even close to enough, and the inheritance was almost all depleted anyway.
Fatal Hilarity
Greek philosopher, Chryssuppus, actually died from laughter back in 206 BC. In a drunken stupor, he saw a donkey chewing on some figs and thought it was hilarious. Once the laughing begin he was unable to stop. Humor actually got the best of him, in this case. Due to the uncontrollable laughter, he ended up dying.
Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb
There is a mystery around the opening of a Mummy’s Tomb. After opening a tomb, bad luck has found many of those involved, including a fair amount of deaths. Carnarvon ended up passing away just a few months after the tomb was opened. It was believed that the death was the result of blood poisoning that occurred when he was bitten by a mosquito. The bite was infected with erysipelas from when he nicked himself with a razor when shaving.
Dance of Death
Dance Until You Drop
Back in 1518, The Dancing Plague took place in eastern France. In a place called Strasbourg, Alsace, a woman by the name of Frau Troffea began dancing without rest. It is considered the most notable type of mass hysteria where people (over 400) would dance until they passed away. No medical explanation exists for this as of yet. They simply danced until they were exhausted, had heart attacks, and strokes.
One for the Guinness Book
Most of us know that drinking too much alcohol could cause death by Alcohol poisoning, but what about drowning in it? Back in 1814, an enormous vat of beer at a brewery in London ended up rupturing, which caused a large domino effect for all of the surrounding vats. More than 323,000 gallons of beer ended up flooding the brewery and all of the surrounding areas. In total, seven people were killed and two homes were destroyed by the beer.
Sweet Catastrophe
During 1919, the Boston Molasses Flood caused the deaths of 21 people and injured 150 more. A large storage tank containing molasses at the northern end of Boston ended up bursting and flooding the streets of town at 35 mph.
Talk About a Blackout
Back in 1998 in the Congo, a football match ended up being interrupted due to a lightning bolt that ended up striking the pitch and killed the entire 11 members on the team. Even though the other team wasn’t scathed, they did get accused of witchcraft.
Your Body is Toxic
Gloria Ramirez was admitted to the hospital in 1994 from effects related to cervical cancer, but others ended up needing medical attention as well. It was found that her skin was toxic. Hospital staff noticed a garlic-like, fruity odor from her mouth and an oily sheen on her skin. When the nurse drew her blood, she noticed an ammonia smell from the tube. The nurse who took the blood, the doctor and a respiratory therapist all passed from the blood. Ramirez passed from kidney failure. It is still speculation as to what really happened with her blood that killed all the others, but they believe it all relates to DMSO2.
Trouble in Paradise
In Thailand, two Canadian sisters were found deceased in their hotel room. Reports indicated that the sisters were killed from DEET poisoning after they consumed a cocktail containing a neurotoxic mosquito repellent. Autopsies by Canadian officials showed that they did have DEET in their system and they did die from poisoning, but the amounts were not large enough to have killed them, so you get left to wonder what the cause really was.
Mountain Mystery
Back in February of 1959, 10 hikers decided to embark on a mission to climb Kholat Syakhl in Russia. One ended up turning back a day in from illness and the remaining nine weren’t seen alive again. The campsite was in shambles and the tent was torn open from inside. Two bodies were found a mile from camp beneath a tree in only their underwear. Three more were scattered along the way in attempts to get away. The question on everyone’s mind, was what happened to them.
Funeral Planning was delayed two months passed before the last four were found in a ravine not far from where one of the other bodies was found. These members were wrapped in clothing from other group members, which ended up being radioactive. All died of trauma, but no outward evidence was found. One was missing her tongue. It was ruled as compelling natural forces that caused the deaths. To this day, no one really knows how they died.
Comparing the day to day responsibilities of a funeral director with the process of speed dating is like matching apples and oranges. Speed dating is a pleasure activity to meet new people and consider potential mates while serving as a funeral director involves addressing families about the deaths of their loved ones, planning services and arranging burial or cremation plans. However, in peeling the layers away to reveal the framework of the basic human interactions utilized in each form of communication, the similarities begin to emerge. Even solely in the realm of learning to read individuals, adapt to a situation and draw conclusions in a short period of time, there is much a funeral director can learn from the process of speed dating.
Yes I "would" like to know all about the options!
For most people arranging for a funeral is a strange or foreign concept. Speed dating is a strange concept in itself but one some people find necessary to meet prospective dates. In speed dating, an individual registers for a group event and is given generally ten minutes or less to interact with everyone of the opposite gender at the event. At the conclusion of the event, participants reveal which of their potential partners they are interested in to the moderator or organizer and, should both parties feel the same, individual contact information is provided. Although controversial in execution due to the limitations of a small time frame, speed dating can be an effective way of meeting a pool of eligible potential dates in a prearranged event in several hours, providing extensive networking and relationship possibilities.
Funeral directors have a radically different host of responsibilities. The job of a funeral director also requires brief meetings with the families of a deceased or the representative of a deceased’s estate to organize funeral services, calling hours, burial or cremation services and provide obituary services if needed. While speed dating is an elective process, individuals who enlist the services of a funeral director generally only do so out of necessity. The subject of death and the accompanying emotions can be overwhelming, adding a layer of complexity to the interactions funeral directors have with clients.
Although on the surface there seems to be little in the way of similarities, the skills speed daters need to develop to succeed actually quite similar to the skill set that makes for an effective funeral director. In speed dating, a participant only has several minutes to decide whether or not a possible partner is worth pursuing. Studies show that many decide in the first ten seconds if the person has a chance at a date. Hopefully they will give the funeral directors more the ten seconds, but the point is we need to make a positive impression very quickly. In this time, evaluating your partner, responding accordingly, interpreting emotions and reactions and understanding whether a future interaction could have potential are crucial to success. Without being able to read the other person’s body language, facial cues, vocal inflection and other subtle indicators of mood or reaction, a worthwhile opportunity could be easily overlooked. As important as learning how to comprehend another individual’s subtleties can be in speed dating, learning how to convey your own emotions can be just as important. In order to attract someone’s attention, expressing your interest and feelings of connectivity can be essential. Mastering speed dating can take a high level of social grace, intuition and comprehension of human emotion.
In the same ways that speed dating can require a more highly adapted approach to human interactions, working as a funeral director takes a similar set of abilities. The time a funeral director has with a client to ascertain needs, wants and emotions is not much longer than a speed dating encounter. In order to provide a high level of service in an industry that works with death and its impact on friends and loved ones, a funeral director must be able to read body language and act on social cues to make a difficult conversation as easy as possible. When it comes to handling a deceased’s affairs, many family members or representatives may not be able to fully understand the many options available to them. This is why it’s so important that the funeral director make an almost instant connection. Much in the same way a speed dater must read and react to a potential partner in order to establish a connection, a funeral director must read and react to a client to make sure all bases are covered in a satisfactory manner. If no connection is made the family is not likely to want to hear or care about the options and suggestions made by the funeral director.
In both fields, being able to properly convey your own emotions to another human being is essential. In speed dating, this serves to create a bond or connection while a funeral director must properly use empathy and kindness to demonstrate trustworthiness to a customer so that he or she knows the deceased will be in good hands. The trust between a funeral director and client is central to making sure the right services are offered and proper options made available. Funeral planning funeral, cremation services and obituaries can be very personal and emotional situations to handle and being able to create a quick connection is very important to establishing a working relationship. This same concept applies in bonding with a possible partner. Like in speed dating, a funeral director only has one chance and one small time window to make sure everything is right.
Serving as a funeral director can be a very emotional and stressful job due to its proximity to death. Funeral directors are called upon in painful times and only have a brief period with a customer to build trust, convey empathy and assure an individual his or her deceased loved one will be treated with dignity, care and respect. These skills are very similar to the quick connection one must build to succeed in speed dating. Reading body language, interpreting social cues and using emotion to build a rapport with an individual are skills frequently used in both areas. By treating each encounter with a client as a speed dating opportunity, funeral directors may be able to improve the levels on which they connect with their customers in order to instill trust and create a bond demonstrative of a high level of service.
With people being more spiritual than religious today, funeral ceremonies are taking on a new schematic. There’s a lot more room for creativity to make funeral ceremonies more meaningful. Funeral celebrants are introducing the concept of circle ceremonies. Unlike the traditional rows found in most church services, the whole ceremony can take place with attendees in a circle. Native Americans have long used the healing powers of ceremonies in the formation of a circle.
Think about it for a moment. When in a circle, we are all equal.
There is no one below, above, behind or in front of you. A circle has innate healing power with the ability for us all to connect.
The sacred circle is designed to create unity. It is the hoop of life with a place for every species, race and plant. The ideas of a sacred circle and the hoop of life have been inspired by Native American traditions and beliefs that everything is connected, and we are all connected to each other. When we are connected, spiritual healing can truly take place. I have conducted a couple of services set up in a circle for native Americans here in Vermont. In the funeral home chapel and in the cemetery. It really made it special and I can truly say it added a sense of healing and more active participation was observed.
We can also take the Native American tradition of healing drum circles and apply it to today’s funeral ceremonies. All across the country drum circle groups have been forming and growing in popularity. Everyone can participate in the drumming activities, even young children. Native Americans believe that drumming up the spirits of the land enhances personal healing with its vibrations. It’s like awakening our hearts with the heartbeat of the Earth. Attendees can take turns standing in the middle of the circle with eulogies and prayers along with drumming. While bodies are never physically touched, the spiritual energy is channeled by mental intention and physical vibration. With Cremation services the urn to be tastefully placed in the center of the circle. Now as an experienced funeral director I know that drumming in a circle is just way to outside the box for some families and congregations. But for some situations its perfect. All around, drumming circles for funeral ceremonies are social, healing, musical and fun.
The aboriginal people are another culture that has a strong affinity with the circle. They believe the power of the universe works in circles such as the shape of the planets, birds making their nests and the wind whirling in circles. Like Native Americans, the circle is a symbol of equity where no one person has an elevated position over another.
Pagan funerals or transition rituals are also held in a sacred circle with offerings to Nature. Often, there is a sharing of stories and chanting. They believe that the circle ceremony is a way to help the soul on its journey to the afterlife. Because of this belief, the circle ceremony is an opportunity to celebrate the life that has passed instead of mourning.
With over 40 percent of Americans choosing cremation services for their final farewell, the philosophy goes hand-in-hand with circle funeral ceremonies. Many people view cremation as a natural way of returning to the Earth. It is a sacred way to continue in the hoop of a spiritual life. Even in death, we all remain connected in spirit. Whether you choose a ground burial for your ashes, a sea scattering of ashes or a land dispersal of ashes, we’re all set on the same plane for a spiritual life.
Funeral celebrants also go hand-in-hand with both cremation services and circle funeral ceremonies. These professionals can help you plan ceremonies from beginning to end. A celebrant is certified and trained to provide personalized funeral ceremonies that reflect the lifestyle and personality of the deceased. They can be used as an alternative to a clergy person or in conjunction with one. In addition, funeral celebrants are an excellent choice for those who are spiritual but not religious. These professionals have a large library of resources for music, readings and the development of eulogies. They also work closely with you so that all of your wishes are adhered to and ensure complete confidentiality.
Ideas for Circle Ceremonies
Come One Come All, Gather Round!
Circle Ceremonies for funeral services can take place outdoors in a natural setting. Funeral Celebrants can help you select a mountaintop, a place in the woods, a beach or a meadow. You can even elect to have the ceremony in someone’s backyard. Typically, an altar to the deceased with photos and flowers are set up. The funeral celebrant can be the officiator or you can act as your own. You can arrange for a circle of chairs for the attendees. Attendees can take turns sharing stories about the deceased and expressing their heartfelt feelings. Music can be played before, during and after the ceremony. Memory or prayer beads made from crystals and natural stones can also be passed around in the circle. They are beautiful keepsakes for comfort and remembrance.
Even if you are having a funeral service in a church setting, arrangements can be made for a circle ceremony with attendees standing in a circle together or seated in a circle. You can work with a funeral celebrant or make arrangements with clergy yourself. If you work with a funeral celebrant, they can assist you with choosing music that is appropriate for this type of setting.
Today, the style and tone for funeral ceremonies is wide open. There are some who like to go out with a bang in a party style. They may even prefer to have a ceremony in a country-club setting or a bar. Funeral celebrants are very versatile and can help you make all the arrangements for food, lively music and engaging eulogies. They will work closely with you to ensure that all of your loved ones favorite tunes are played, including rock.
As we move forward in the 21st century, the etiquette for funeral ceremonies is constantly evolving. No longer are the somber funerals with sad music taking center stage. Survivors and the deceased are moving to funeral ceremonies that truly reflect a celebration of life and the personality of the deceased. People are searching for new ways to create a unique and meaningful funeral ceremony, and circle ceremonies are just another avenue for change.
Jeff Staab is a funeral director in southern Vermont. A certified Life Cycle Celebrant. He owns and operates www.cremationsolutions.com and is a cremation memorial and ash scattering specialist. When he’ not dreaming up the next cool cremation product he enjoys adventure in the mountains and on the sea, cooking for friends, social responsibility and green living. He can be reached at jeff@cremationsolutions.com
Every job has its unique challenges, and being a funeral director is no exception. When you meet a funeral director, you are hopefully met with a compassionate human being who exhibits all the appropriate decorum for the preparation of a sad event that surrounds a funeral service. There is much to be taken care of whether or not you were prepared for the passing of a loved one. All around, a funeral director is a caregiver. This professional not only takes care of the details for viewing, memorial service music, funeral bulletins, eulogies and much more but is a shoulder to lean on for the bereaved. While outwardly a funeral director may appear calm and in charge, there’s a lot going on behind the scenes that causes stress.
Unfortunately, many funeral directors don’t operate with any personal boundaries. They often receive phone calls 24/7 for assistance, including the wee hours of the morning. For example, it is not uncommon for a hospice nurse to call a funeral director in the middle of the night requesting a pickup of the body for someone who has expired. Shortly after, another phone call comes in that another family is waiting for them at the funeral home for assistance. This lack of personal boundaries can often leave you vulnerable and can lead to depression. Family activities like attending a son’s soccer game or leisure activities must cancelled to take care of business. Its easy to be torn between the needs of your family and the needs of those you serve. Directors are also prone to evolving into workaholics. Many funeral homes are small businesses and lack the staff for shift work. It goes hand in hand with a lack of personal boundaries. Business may thrive and customers may be happy, but funeral directors wind up not spending time with their own families. Substance abuse and depression is often the end result.
When you think about it, funeral directors are faced with the reality of death 24/7. This immersion in death isolates them by profession. While you may not think you’re loved ones passing affects a funeral director, the constant passing of human beings does affect emotions. It is not uncommon for funeral directors to feel internally agitated and moody. The bottom line is that death makes funeral directors different. They can easily be pulled into the whole narrative of death and lose themselves.
By profession, funeral directors develop a high emotional pain tolerance to death. It’s almost a syndrome that cannot be avoided. Funeral directors that do a good job will often immerse themselves into the families situation and even make it harder on their own emotions. The constant exposure to death and unfortunate circumstances numbs the feelings. Depersonalization and lack of empathy can occur and scare off friends and family. It’s almost as though death chips away at one’s own humanity. They lose the ability to empathize with anything less than death. If you go through a tough breakup with a significant other, funeral directors often minimize the experience with comments like “Well, at least you’re still alive.” It’s easy to see how this transformation can adversely affect one’s personal relationships.
Funeral Directors Need To Be Their Own Caregivers
Like most other caregivers, funeral directors often focus on caring for others and neglect self-care. Along with operating a 24/7 business with economic responsibilities, the demands of providing comfort for the bereaved can take its toll. Burn-out is common and known as “funeral director fatigue” or “compassion fatigue syndrome.” Before the final crash, there are many warning signs, including:
-Isolation from others
-Depression and physical complaints
-Irritability and impatience
-Detachment and cynicism
-Loss of energy and exhaustion
There are a number of steps that funeral directors can take to avoid burn-out. Embracing modern technology can help streamline the workload. Instead of being tied down to the funeral home location to secure new business and provide families with 24/7 service, funeral directors can use pages and smart phones to conduct business more efficiently. Your funeral homes website is often now the first contact with a customer. A good website will educate and guide people to the solutions they need. Some sites even allow funeral or cremation services to be arranged online. A good answering Service for Directors like (ASD) can be an absolute godsend and help you relax more. Calls are screened to address urgent issues, and users can even log onto the web to see the activity of calls. With these modern services, business can be conducted from any location. Funeral directors can also hire removal services to transport decedents and lessen the workload with software companies that have developed programs to speed up the process of obituary placement, death certificate filing and much more. Moving away from the traditional funeral home business model of 24/7 availability still allows funeral directors to provide families with a personal touch. It’s just a different way of doing business.
Make Time For You!
Taking time to enjoy life with family and engaging in hobbies is an effective way to help reduce the stress. It also takes one away from the thoughts of death and to the thoughts of living life. Outdoor activities like fishing, skiing and just enjoying a leisurely day at the park or beach are ideal. After all, life is for the living. It’s also important to schedule vacation time to spend with family or friends. Having a circle of people around is a support group in itself.
Setting time boundaries for business and personal life is essential to maintain a balanced life. Funeral directors need to allot of certain amount of time for funeral planning and a certain amount of time for pleasure. Eating a balanced diet with the proper rest will also help one face the challenges of being in the biz.
For the most part, funeral directors today operate with one of two business models. The family service model is likely the most emotional draining of all. Little boundaries are set, and funeral directors are deeply integrated with the family. While it benefits customers with a personal and intimate approach, it often overburdens the funeral director emotionally. With a corporate owned funeral homes model, the relationship between the funeral director and clients is more detached. It’s more of a corporate perspective with a salesman style. With corporate firms, and the process is more like an assembly line with employees focusing on certain areas. While it doesn’t afford as much opportunity to develop personal relationships with clients, it does afford structured hours and good boundaries. Focus is on managing the bottom line.
Being a funeral director is a real challenge. Funeral directors must act as their own caregivers and fight to maintain the balance of having a life and taking care of business. Their own lives and families are worth it, and the clients they serve are worth it. If attaining a good balance is difficult, it’s smart to seek help or consider changing careers.
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In all societies, music is collective and communal. It is a medium that brings and binds people together. Although we often think of music as entertainment, we often overlook its power to evoke emotions. Beethoven was well-known for being able to evoke the emotions of joy, sadness, loss and return in his famed sonatas. Obviously, music has an emotional hook, and there’s a lot more going on besides sound waves and the synapses firing in the human brain. Music and mood are connected in a manner that science has not been able to explain. To date, studies have only determined that the auric field surrounding people progresses into a calm state when listening to music. It certainly suggests that music has the power to heal the body, mind and spirit. That being said, music therapy has been used to treat Alzheimer’s, brain injury, Parkinson’s disease and cancer. Anecdotal evidence suggests that music can reduce anxiety, pain and heart rate. It can also tap long lost memories and increase social interaction.
Live Funeral Music "Even Better"
When it comes to funeral ceremonies, music plays a vital role. It is an important part of celebrating the life of a lost loved one. Music is embedded in our souls and can stir up long forgotten memories that can only be brought to the surface with music. Playing cherished songs enjoyed together, such as “My Girl” or “I Will Always Love You”, can rewind the clock for a memory of happy times shared together. Such trigger songs are healing music that instantly connects us to memories of times, places and people connected with a loved one. Healing music helps bereaved ones go through the grieving process. It touches the soul in a manner that is comforting and almost unexplainable. The sounds of music give everyone a medium that all can share and relate to at funeral ceremonies. The power of music enhances the experience of funeral ceremonies in a positive and appropriate way.
Funeral planning and funeral music go hand in hand. Simply put, all funeral ceremonies should use healing music to both pay tribute to a lost loved one and to create an atmosphere where healing can begin for survivors. Funeral planning entails using funeral music at many times during a funeral ceremony. With so many planning cremation services, we have more time to plan and select appropriate funeral music. Funeral music can be played before, during and after the ceremony. It’s really up to those planning the ceremony to decide when music should be played. Just keep in mind that the funeral music you choose will create a mood for both yourself and attendees.
There is no one-size-fits-all when choosing funeral music. For those who prefer to stick with tradition and a solemn funeral experience, popular hymns like “Amazing Grace”, “Ave Maria” and “All Things Bright and Beautiful,” are both powerful and rousing. These types of songs allow people who are at a loss for words to express heartfelt feelings. They unveil a dimension of feeling and meaning that words cannot do. Even though these hymns are Christian, they evoke feelings regardless of race or culture.
Let The Music Take You There
If you’re not particularly religious, choosing classical and popular songs may be a better fit. This type of funeral music is ideal for playing during times of intercession and moments of silence. Here’s a list of some classical songs that are both soothing and reflective:
-“My Heart Will Go On”- Celine Dion
-“Hero”- Mariah Carey
-“Tears In Heaven”- Eric Clapton
-“Always On My Mind”- Elvis Presley
-“The Rose”- Bette Midler
-“Candle In The Wind”- Elton John
-“Imagine”- John Lennon
-“What A Wonderful World”- Louis Armstrong
-“Yesterday”- The Beatles
-“Stairway To Heaven”- Led Zeppelin
Playing a loved one’s favorite songs at a funeral ceremony is also an option that helps capture the essence of a loved one while leaving a legacy. For example, if your loved one was a huge fan of the Beatles or Beach Boys, playing tunes like “Surfer Girl” and “I Want To Hold Your Hand” will make you feel like your loved one is right there with you enjoying the music. Keep in mind that it is completely appropriate today to play upbeat music at a funeral service. As a matter of fact, many people today are embracing a funeral service with a whole new paradigm. In celebrating the life of a loved one, playing vibrant music at a funeral service is a good match for a true celebration of life.
All in all, the funeral music that you choose as a tribute to your loved one is truly a personal choice. It’s entirely up to you to choose the music that you see most fit to celebrate the life of a loved one. Learn more about funeral music here.
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This use of technology has many benefits for funeral home directors and their staff. In addition, the use of technology helps the grieving families in a variety of ways such as reducing stress, making the collection of information more efficient, and allowing the needed information to be processed quicker.
is completed online by family members using the online death certificate form, an email is sent to the designated funeral home staff who use the information to obtain a death certificate for the deceased. Moreover, the free online death certificate tool is helpful to funeral homes because it allows the staff at funeral homes several helpful options for acquiring the information needed to process a death certificate.
