Colorado Prison First to Have Hospice

When a guilty verdict is reached and someone is sent to prison, the outside world sometimes forgets them. This is especially true for those sentences that will last far beyond the life expectancy of the prisoner. Many will succumb to sickness and die either in their prison bunks or the prison hospital before their sentence ends. If they’re estranged from their families, they end up dying alone, with no one to comfort them or talk to them during their last days.

Hospice in PrisonColorado Territorial Correction Facilities is the first prison to have a hospice. It’s operated by inmates, who are trained in the basics and must help care for dying patients. For the caregivers, it can be a chance to find the redemption they’ve been seeking. For the prisoners, it’s a chance to have a meaningful connection in their last few days of life. It also helps lower costs, though in this case, the idea of a humane death supersedes cost cutting measures.

Hospice focuses on easing pain instead of trying for an impossible cure. When a person is dying due to disease or injury, the traditional response is to pump them full of medications or resort to surgery in order to try and extend their life, even if only for a few days. Hospice accepts death and focuses on the patient’s comfort by helping them prepare for the end stages of their life instead of trying to extend it a few more days.

The reality of death for most people is that they will live their last moments on a hospital bed while under the influence of various medications and attached to machines. Even if there is only a tiny chance that the doctors can fix the patient, they will try. The downside to this approach is that some medications (such as chemotherapy for cancer) can cause the patient tremendous amounts of pain. Unfortunately, going through this pain is no guarantee that the individual will survive. Sometimes, it’s the family members that are encouraging the patient to keep trying, inadvertently causing the patient more pain than necessary in search of an unlikely solution.

A hospice death is accepted as the natural end point to life. When someone is old or has a minimal chance to live, they may choose to accept death rather than fighting it. The hospice then focuses on comforting the patient and minimizing their pain through their last few days. With the knowledge that they don’t have a lot of time left, the patient can spend their last days focusing on what’s really important to them.

Hospice is seen as a graceful acceptance of mortality. The patient gets the opportunity to do things they couldn’t if they were stuck in a hospital bed. As a hospice focuses on comfort instead of a cure, the patient gets the opportunity to enjoy their last few days, whether that means brief walks outside, watching their favorite movies, or quiet time with family. They can make sure their will is prepared and share last words with those close to them rather than being hooked up to hospital machinery. Hospice will also have a caregiver that is able to attend to their needs when friends or family are unable to do so.

Hospice isn’t for everyone. Those who are young or have a good chance at survival shouldn’t select comfort over medical attention. A hospice is for those who’ve come to terms with their life, and recognize that since the odds are slim that they’ll survive, they should spend their last days or weeks living how they want to live, with those close to them, instead of being confined to a hospital bed away from their loved ones. They’re choosing to spend their last days in a quiet, dignified manner rather than fighting for a few extra hours.

For friends and family of the patient, hospice lets them see their loved one in a positive light, enjoying their remaining time. The environment is much warmer than that of a sterile hospital, and with more personalized caregivers they can get easier answers to their questions. Hospice caregivers will often start the inevitable conversation regarding funeral plans. Many state prisons now promote simple cremation services. Many patients report feeling a blanket of acceptance as they move on from our world. Accepting death allows the family members a chance to prepare and accept the inevitable, and also ease into the grieving process.
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I Lived, I Mattered. Dont Put Me In The Closet!

I want more then a party when I die!
Americans are embracing cremation as their preferred choice when making funeral plans today. About 45% according to the Cremation Association of America. Working in Hospice Care or the funeral biz, we hear it all the time. “Just scatter my ashes and have a party”.

Good Bye Whatcha Face
Here's to Who?

I don’t want all that fuss involved with a funeral. It sounds good and simple, but does not create a very healing environment or a carefully planned ceremony that will shine a positive light on your life. Most people want to feel that their life mattered and that the things they believe in and the projects they have started will be remembered and hopefully carried on. A funeral should express what the deceased valued in their life and help instill those values in others so that the dream may continue.

These selfish half ass plans to just have a party in my memory just don’t cut it today or any time in history. Opportunities to remember and heal takes thoughtful planning. That’s what Funeral Directors and Celebrants do! Cremation should allow for even more opportunity then burial, because it give us the freedom of more time to create what should be the most important event in your life. To take what mattered most to us to our grave without ever sharing is just a sad, sad shame.  What’s even worst is, as a result of not having a real funeral plan, is the final disposition of your earthly remains are not being fulfilled.  The ashes of many are ending up stowed away at home in “the closet”. How and why are the sacred earthly remains of our loved one’s ending up in such a non-flattering shrine.

Mom, Uncle Fred, Johnny......

It sounds simple “just scatter me”. But to make this request can often lead to these closet internments. The request to scatter me is  apparently not enough. The survivors who want to do the “right thing” but are often unsure of exactly what to do with the cremated remains or what people usually refer to as “the ashes”. You choose scattering because it’s a very natural way to go back to the earth and continue the cycle of life. But when no one really knows the specifics it just might be put off so long that not doing becomes easier then not doing.

The lesson here is to just take some time and think about your legacy and how and where do you want things done. People that do participate in scattering have said they feel a huge sense of relief and that the scattering can conjure feelings of completing the natural cycle of life as they are giving the ashes back to nature.

Selecting a location to scatter is what should be an important life decision. For spiritual Christians the mountains, lake or golf course just seems to be sanctified then the sacred grounds of a cemetery. For these spiritual Christians there is now a way to choose scattering yet also be laid to rest on beautiful sacred grounds.

Ash Scattering
Memorial Scattering Garden in Israel

The Ash Scattering Society now offers a service called Holyland Ash Scattering in response to people’s desire to be scattered in worldwide locations of particular beauty and meaning. Their Holy Land Ash Scattering service, provides the ultimate location for scattering ashes. Their memorial scattering garden is in Israel along the Jesus trail, overlooking the beautiful Sea of Galilee, where Jesus once walked. It’s easy to ship the ashes to them and you even get a video of the complete scattering ceremony!

With new options like Holyland Ash Scattering it’s time to get many of those poor abandoned souls, out of the closet! and laid to rest. Spiritual Americans have begun to embrace this new option. For many the pilgrimage to the Holy Land has been a lifelong dream. Some do get to visit this very meaningful region and have a life changing experience. Now with the services of Holyland Ash Scattering anyone can rest eternal for all time for less than the cost of a plane ticket.

WWW.HOLYLANDASHSCATTERING.COM

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Funeral Flower Traditions

Funeral Flowers for Buddhist: The funeral will almost always take place in a funeral home and never in a temple. Sending funeral flowers is considered appropriate for a Buddhist funeral.

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Funeral Flowers for Hindus: hold a funeral service on the day of death, before the sun goes down if possible. Sending flowers isn’t part of the Hindu tradition, but it may still be seen as a thoughtful gesture. You can safely send a nice funeral spray to commemorate the dead.

Funeral Flowers for Jewish: tradition doesn’t include the sending of flowers at death. It’s more appropriate to send gift baskets or fruit during the period of mourning. However, younger Jews may be more open to receiving flowers at home or at the foyer of the synagogue. The practice of sending flowers is better understood by ‘liberal’ Jews, while Orthodox Jews may not be appreciative.

Funeral Flowers for Mormons: (or Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) appreciate flowers and funeral sprays at the time of mourning. Don’t send them in the shape of a cross as this may offend, and note that Mormon funerals are not held in the temple.

Funeral Flowers for Muslim: or Islamic cultures may have differing opinions concerning funeral flowers, depending on their ethnic origin and perhaps even on what particular branch of Islam they are from. Ask the opinion of someone close to the family, if you can.

Funeral Flowers for Protestants: and Other Christian faiths accept all forms of funeral flowers. Certain branches or denominations farther out of the mainstream (especially in some Reformed traditions) may have particular ideas concerning simplicity and adornment, however.

Funeral Flowers for Roman Catholics: welcome flowers and funeral flower arrangements. There may be some particulars concerning delivery of funeral flowers to a church or cathedral

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