The Beauty of Cremation

Walking The Line

There are so many reasons that more and more people are now choosing cremation. Here are some of the main reasons that half of all deaths now elect cremation as the final disposition.

  • More Economical
  • A Greener Earth Friendly Option
  • Less Time Sensitive (Freedom of Time)
  • Easier, No Cemetery Required
  • Endless Memorialization Options
  • Don’t Want To Take Up Space (Land)
  • Like The Idea Of Scattering Ashes
  • Religious Freedom
    Cremation Growth Rate

Funeral CostCOST: When you get down to the basic cost of a funeral, cremation can be significantly cheaper. The average traditional funeral these days can cost $8,000.00 to $15,000.00 or more. And a basic cremation is $1,000.00 to $2,000.00. Why such a broad range in price? Simple, it depends on who you call! And of course the choices that you make. Over the years, I have noticed something about how the general public describes the cost of a funeral that I would like to clear up right now. I noticed that when people quote the cost of a traditional funeral they tend to group all of the related costs together! For example “Mom’s Funeral Cost $18,00.00”… but the actual funeral costs might have been $8,000.00 and included the cost of a cemetery plot, digging the grave, flying in certain relatives, putting aunt Millie up at the Hilton and a $6,000.00 reception at a catering hall. But when quoting the cost of cremation people tend to just quote the basic cost “Instead of having a funeral Dad was cremated and it only cost $995.00”. They don’t mention the $10,000.00 memorial catering cost at the country club, the band and the travel costs! So this is one reason the difference in Cremation versus a Traditional Funeral seems like a huge difference in cost. In actuality Cremation is just a disposition like burial is a disposition and all the related costs depends on the CHOICES THAT WE MAKE. “The cremation cost $995.00”. The burial including the purchase of the plot and digging the grave might only cost $2,000.00 but people never just quote this cost, they lump it all together with the choices that they make. These are the conversations that really annoy funeral directors and instantly put them on the defense of the funeral costs.

What really annoys this particular funeral director is the general consensus that cremation means there isn’t a funeral. “There’s no funeral…he’s being cremated”! The truth is just the opposite. With cremation you can have any kind of funeral you want, even a traditional funeral! The only real difference is that instead of the body going to the cemetery, it goes to the crematory. Remember that cremation like burial is just the final disposition. The word “Funeral” simply means that the body is present at the funeral service. If you have a service without the body present because it was already buried or cremated then we use the term “Memorial Service” or other phrases like a Celebration of Life or a Going Home Ceremony. But if the body is not there it’s not a funeral.

Green AshesGREEN: The general public perceives cremation as a greener alternative to burial. A traditional burial takes up land permanently. And the chemicals that are used for embalming are cancerous and could leak into the water table. Here in the US an outer concrete burial vault is used and requires the manufacture of 1.6 tons of concrete and steel, leaving a large carbon footprint through the process of manufacturing. The caskets are often made of steel and many are shipped here from China (not green). Wooden caskets that are made from unsustainable sources like mahogany destroy the rain forest. BUT cremation isn’t exactly green either! Cremation involves burning fossil fuels (not green) and can release mercury from dental fillings into the air. What’s really green is called “Green Burial” and is only permitted in a natural burial site. More and more of these types of cemeteries are becoming available. Green burial is a burial in a naturally biodegradable casket or shroud with no embalming and no burial vault in a shallow grave. Green burial is the most natural and greenest disposition of all.

TIME: Because we usually want to get people buried in the ground before they rapidly begin to decompose, a burial requires a time frame of urgency that demands some fast leg work and usually having the funeral with in a week! And if you are Jewish then you’re supposed to have the burial by sundown of the day after death! With cremation you have nothing but time. Of course if you’re going to have public visitation with the body present you are back on a time line. But once the cremation is complete the ashes have no “shelf life” and you can plan a memorial celebration of life at your convenience. (WARNING) There is still such thing as waiting too long. Sometimes to meet the schedules of so many, the services are put off for months. For example, when someone dies in the Fall and the family elects to wait until the Spring and make the services part of the family reunion at the club. TOOOO Long! Remember that funerals are to support the living in their grief and loss. A proper memorial services lays the foundation for the healing to begin, just like a wedding provides a platform of support to the joining of a couple for life. With too much time in-between, the months leading up to the service can create more unnecessary grief for the survivors due to a lack of support.

Easier: Planning a funeral with the disposition of cremation can definitely be easier. You have the freedom of time on your side and don’t have to feel rushed about getting the person in the ground! You don’t have to select a casket, a vault, a cemetery plot, and other related items. You have the time to involve family members in the planning process and hopefully can create a memorable experience that will showcase a life well lived. Hire a certified celebrant and put some thought and time into this once in a lifetime event. You have one chance to do it right, so take your time and plan a Celebration of Life that people can connect with and relate to. This is why I promote Celebrant funerals and not some old 2,000 year old ceremony that an uninformed clergy member throws together! (Insert Name Here). Use the time to write down stories to share, collect pictures for display or better yet turn the pictures into a memorial video. Play the perfect music and serve the food that the deceased would be proud of! There are so many services available through your local funeral home that can add to the memorial ceremony experience, so use the time to learn about them. And do some research via the Internet on how to create a special and memorable memorial event.

Memorial Options: There are so many options available when you choose cremation. Like a Traditional Burial you can still have visitation with the body present for the final goodbyes and support for the family. You can also have an event in just about any public location that you desire. Consider a place that can handle the anticipated number of people who will attend. Choose a place where people are comfortable enough to join in and share a ceremony that will shine a spotlight on the life lived and the many ways that this person has affected the lives and the fabric of life. Use pictures, objects, belongings and stories to help those attending connect. The spirit of the deceased will often convey what would be appropriate for their personal celebration.

Cremation CasketThe money saved by choosing cremation can be used to purchase goods and services that will further personalize the experience of joining together to commemorate a life well lived. First, select a casket. This can be as simple as a cardboard box, a simple wooden box or an ornate cremation casket. They call these things alternative containers and by law you need one for cremation to take place.

If you are having a traditional viewing before the cremation then you should get a casket with a fabric interior that is suitable for public viewing. Most funeral homes rent caskets for this purpose and then a cardboard box is used for the actual cremation.

For the ceremony you can use things like memorial folders or prayer cards and custom programs that follow the services and can then be saved as a memory keepsake. Large photos, custom blankets and a video tribute can add to the memorial service. And a tree seedling or seeds that can be taken home and be planted in memory and will continue the circle of life.

Art Made With Ashes
Glass Art Made With Ashes

Cremation UrnIf an urn is used to hold the ashes, many put it on display at the service on a table or alter that is set with candles and flowers. When selecting an urn you should first know the final disposition of the ashes. Will they be kept at home on display, buried in the cemetery, placed in a niche, or scattered to the winds. Cremation urns are specially designed to suit all of these different destinations. Even floating biodegradable urns for scattering in lakes and oceans. One new style of urn converts into a birdhouse following the scattering of the ashes! With the new “Loved One Launcher” ashes can also be blasted 70 feet into the sky along with confetti and streamers. Talk about going out with a bang! When it comes to ashes there is no right or wrong way… just personal choices and family traditions. Often family members will use small keepsake urns to divide the ashes up between family and friends. These keepsake urns allow those who choose to scatter to retain a small amount of the ashes forever.

Ashes Jewelry
Jewelry To Hold Ashes

Cremation JeAshes inside Jewelrywelry serves a similar purpose and can be worn as a lasting tribute and close connection to the loved one. There is cremation jewelry that has an inner chamber to hold the ashes inside and also cremation jewelry that is custom made with the ashes.

Assorted Cremation Monuments

 

 

Even monuments are made that will hold the ashes inside as an alternative to burial. Some are styled like traditional monuments and many look like natural rocks and boulders that can blend right into the family garden. The advantage of cremation style monuments is that they can be moved as well as serve as a memorial focal point.

Scattering: The decision to scatter ashes is no longer unique. With more than half of all Americans and Canadians now choosing cremation.

Clem's Ash Scattering 2005.09.19 016Scattering is NOW the #1 disposition of cremated remains in the United States and Canada and continues to grow. Funeral professionals are the only ones that aren’t catching on. Most funeral professionals consider scattering a dirty and unprofitable choice of final disposition. They will help you get buried or interred. They will help you create funeral and memorial events. But when the choice is to scatter the ashes, they will help you as far as the door! Some of the more progressive funeral homes now offer special urns for families that choose to scatter the ashes, but that’s about as far as it goes.

Cremation can be an exciting and beautiful way to celebrate the deceased and bring together their friends and family for a positive and memorable experience. It provides an opportunity for the departed to bring together those that they leave behind and touched most during their life well lived. Cremation: it can be more economical; it can be greener; it allows for more time and planning; and it has infinite options only limited by the creativity of the living!

All About Military Funeral Honors

Military Funeral MemorialServing the United States of America is among the noblest and most honorable career paths available in this country. To put one’s life on the line to defend our nation’s freedom is worthy of the highest praise, both in service and after death. On Memorial Day, we take this opportunity to celebrate these brave heroes who have fought for our freedom and for those that have lost their lives.

In honor of this selfless commitment made by our service members, a proper burial is the most fitting and respectful tribute to those that are no longer with us. Available to those who have died in the line of duty as well as to eligible veterans who passed away after completing their service, military funerals are a right that all service members receive.

Laws and Practices of Military Burials

Under United States law, all of our eligible veterans are entitled to a military service free of charge. Consisting of an honor guard of no less than two service members, this is to thank the veteran for their service while laying them to rest in the most respectful way possible.

All veterans are entitled to a military burial, which includes an honor guard who will fold and present the veteran’s family with our flag and the playing of Taps. Certain additional honors, like a color guard, a gun salute, and casket bearers may also be available, depending on the deceased’s level of service at the time of death. All arrangements must be requested through a funeral home at least 48 hours in advance to ensure that the proper arrangements are made in time for the ceremony. This ceremonial process is among the most significant aspects of a burial for our service members, and a highly desired and deserved experience for the families dealing with their recent loss.

Military Burial Eligibility

Memorial FlagMilitary burial eligibility depends on several key factors related to the service member’s participation in the armed forces. All servicemen and women who served on active duty or in the Selected Reserve are eligible to receive military burial benefits. In order to be considered an eligible veteran who served on active duty, a service member must have successfully completed a tour of duty, and departed under conditions other than dishonorable. The same is true of Selected Reserve members; those who finished their minimum required period of service and departed under conditions other than dishonorable may receive a military burial. A DD Form 214  is required to establish eligibility. If this form is not available, any other documentation representative of honorable discharge is an acceptable substitution. Click Here For DD Form 214 is available online through the National Archives. Click Here for Flag Application. Click Here For Cemetery Marker Application.

Burial Service Variations

Monument in CemeteryWhile all military service completed honorably is worthy of the highest possible praise, there are different forms of burial services depending on the duration and the type of service.

 

 

Veteran honors are available to anyone who served in the military but did not retire, which includes soldiers across the different branches, and those who were drafted to serve in past times of war. These services include the presentation of our flag by an honor guard and the playing of Taps.

Retiree honors are available for those who served for twenty years or more and retired from service, as well as those who were forced to retire due to health or disability reasons. These services are more involved than veteran honors and include a seven to ten person honor guard team including a chaplain, firing parties, pall bearers, the folding and presentation of our flag, and the playing of Taps.

Full honors are provided for those who passed away during active duty, Medal of Honor recipients, and General Officers. This is the most intricate of all burial honors, and includes a full honor guard of 21 service members, including a chaplain, firing squad, and pall bearers, as well as the folding and presentation of our flag and the playing of Taps.

While there are notable differences in each burial honor, all options are touching tributes, a final farewell for the members and former members of the armed forces as a thank you for the demands and sacrifices required of their military service.

The Military Burial Proceedings

Military burial proceedings are extremely sentimental, providing a thoughtful goodbye for all of our departed service members.

Burial proceedings take place at the cemetery, after the conclusion of a funeral mass or wake, and begin with the arrival of the casket or urn as transported by the funeral home. If a chaplain is present, he will lead the way to the proper plot, where the pall bearers will place the casket or urn on the ground appropriately.

Once at the gravesite, the officer in charge ensures that the flag is level over the casket or urn, and the family takes their seats, or may stand in a semi-circle. When the flag is positioned properly, the chaplain or other officiant will begin the ceremony.

When the service is complete, family members will rise if not already standing, and the officer in charge will give the command to initiate the rifle volley. Taps will play, and the rifle volley will follow. Then the folding of our flag will begin. Once the flag folding is complete, the flag will be passed to the officer in charge, who will present it to the next of kin, generally a spouse, parent, or child. The chaplain will remain to offer his condolences, and the ceremony will conclude.

The Folding of our Flag


The folding of our flag is among the most important parts of a military burial honor. As defenders of this country, the flag of the United States of America holds great symbolism for our armed forces members and their families, so the proper treatment is paramount. The flag should not touch the ground or be otherwise treated with disrespect under any circumstances, by both military members and civilians.

The folding process begins with four service members holding our flag horizontally and level at waist height, and two members holding the top and bottom edges. First, the bottom edge of the stripe section is folded lengthwise over the field of stars, corner to corner, with all borders and corners matching up neatly. This action is repeated again, creating a narrow rectangular shape with the field of stars visible at the top. Throughout this process, the flag should remain parallel to the ground.

While the other members hold the flag taut, the member at the foot of the flag will begin to make triangular folds, starting at the left corner. The newly created corner is then folded in a triangular shape to the right, and then to the left once more, and so on, until nearly the entire flag is folded. Folds should be made slowly and deliberately, to ensure clean lines and neat edges, and edges and corners should be pinched throughout the folding process to create the tightest possible fold.

When the end of the flag is reached, the member holding the top corner of the field of stars should create a small 45 degree fold, and tuck the remaining fabric into the pocket created by the triangular folds. Only the blue field and white stars should be visible; all of the red stripes should be hidden within the folds. Once the flag is neatly prepared, it will be presented to the next of kin.

When the funeral service is complete, the family may do with the flag as they wish, including flying it, or preserving it in a memorial case. Memorial cases can be made at home, or purchased through a specialty vendor. There is nothing wrong with using and flying the military funeral flag, provided the family is comfortable with doing so, and it does not have to remain folded after the completion of the ceremony.

Whether you plan to celebrate Memorial Day with your loved ones or will be participating in a special tribute to those that you have lost, take a moment to truly reflect on what this day means in the hearts of all Americans. Honoring death is never easy, but for those who served, your respect and devotion to them on this special day is greatly appreciated. The heroes of our armed forces are why we have our freedom, so raise a glass, and be sure to say thank you to the men and women in your life who have made the ultimate commitment and sacrificed their life for our great country.

THANK YOU...
THANK YOU…

A Message From Mom In Heaven

My dearest child,

Mother in HeavenAs Mother’s Day approaches, I find myself missing you more than ever. It’s been a long time since I last heard the pitter patter of little feet running down the hallway to wake me up with breakfast in bed, felt your sticky kisses on my cheeks, and the enjoyed Mother’s Day brunches with the whole family. I wish I could still hold your homemade cards, read your Kindergarten print words, and spend the day with you wrapped up in my arms. Mother’s Day will always be special, but it means the most when it can be spent with the ones you love. As your mother, I would give anything to spend one more Mother’s Day on earth, by your side.

I Miss You Too Mommy
I Miss You Too Mommy

Heaven may be full of indescribable wonders, but it’s missing the most important thing in life: my beautiful child. I spent the best years of my life raising you, watching you enter the world, guiding you through movement and speech, and saying a heartbreaking goodbye on your first day of school. I watched with tears in my eyes as the bus left every morning, and felt my heart leap into my throat when you came bursting through the door each afternoon. I spent long days in the kitchen baking treats and preparing your favorite meals, and long nights reading stories, fetching glasses of water, and nursing bruises and boo boos. And I didn’t do these things because I had to; I did them because I wanted to, because I wanted to give you every advantage in the world.

After a while, you got older. You stopped wanting snuggles in the morning and cuddles at bedtime. You made friends, developed hobbies, and learned independence. I missed the time we spent together, but I was so proud of the person you were becoming. Your high school graduation, your college degree, you first real job, and your wedding; all of these days were among the happiest of my life.

It was so hard to say goodbye, and I regret every day that I had to leave you. I know that being an adult doesn’t mean being able to live without a parent; it means having to live without one, whether you want to or not. Even when you were old enough to move out, get married, and settle down, there was nothing I wouldn’t have done to make the burdens of adulthood easier for you. I hope I was able to teach you everything you need to thrive in the world rather than to simply survive. I hope I was able to show you how much power love carries with it, and how joyous making sacrifices can be when they are for the sake of someone you love.

If I could have a Mother’s Day wish, it would be to spend one more day with you. I would plan something special for us to celebrate your own parenthood and the amazing person you have become. I would listen to the details of your life, both big and small, sharing in your triumphs and comforting you in your failed attempts. For just one more minute with you, I would do anything.

Mother MonumentPlease know that even though I am gone from the world, I am still with you. I am always watching, celebrating silently when the good things come to pass and rooting for you through the challenges. I am watching my beautiful grandchildren grow and develop, watching your love for your spouse deepen, and hoping with all of my heart that I could experience your life right by your side. I am so proud of everything you have done so far, and every major milestone yet to come.

On this Mother’s Day, I will miss you so much. And when you miss me, remember that I am forever a jewel in your heart. My love, strength, and support will aways be there when you need it most.

Love from heaven,

Your mother

Cremation Jewelry To Hold Ashes