March, 2014 | Cremation Solutions

Life Matters! What Will Your Monument Look Like

Why Do Humans Have Monuments?

Scary Man Monument — Are You Big And Scary!

Headstones and monuments serve as an important piece of history that marks the life and memory of a loved one that has passed. The main purpose of these monuments is to mark where the soul has gone to rest, while bearing the name and lifetime for the deceased so that all can remember. Messages are important, but the material has to remain for a message to remain present. A monument provides you with a place to go and see your loved ones name and remember all of the things they did in their life.

Originally, humans would mark the place of rest with nothing more than a simple field stone. Natural stones such as sandstone, granite, marble, slate and limestone were all used at some point in history. Today, the most popular of all stones is that of granite.

History of Monuments

Back in times where cemeteries weren’t around, people would often have the burial plot near their family home. Most of the time, the grave was marked with rocks, rough stones or wood as a means of preventing the dead from rising. They mostly contained the name of the deceased, their age and what year they passed. Over the course of time, churchyard burials came into play and large, square-shaped monuments were prepared out of a slate material (1650 – 1900) or sandstone material (1650 – 1890). Inscriptions that were carved into the slate tended to be a little shallow, albeit readable.

During the 19th century, the public cemeteries evolved. Eventually, people started to note the importance of headstones as a means of memorializing those who passed on. They began engraving the headstones with a few words about the one who had passed. Often, those words were either written by the person who had passed or someone who was still alive. One of the biggest advantages to this is that when you read the information contained on the monument, it provides you with information about the deceased. It makes it easier to trace the family history for future generations.

In the Victorian era (1837 – 1901), a strong emphasis was placed on practices and customs that were associated with death. It was during this period that the path was paved for elaborate monuments. When you went to the cemetery, it looked more like a park because of how lavish and elegantly decorated all of the monuments were.

Most of the tombstone symbols that arose from the Colonial period were more of a reflection of being fearful of the afterlife. They believed that very few people were going to be allowed into Heaven upon their passing. Their thoughts were that the majority of people were going to be deemed sinners and there was nothing that could be done about it.

Monuments 101: Everything You Need to Know

Many people opt to purchase a monument in advance. They do not want to wait until they are gone and leave the burden on those who are left behind. After all, who is the best person to decide what they want their marker to have on it than the person who passed away. Also, losing a loved one is stressful enough. The grief can be more than some can handle, so having made this difficult choice beforehand makes it easier on those you love.

Today, the majority of monuments and markers are composed of either marble, granite or bronze. Granite is one of the most sought after materials because of how durable the material is. Beyond lasting for years, it also looks beautiful on the site. Granite has been shown to withstand the elements quite well, so it won’t wear out quickly or break down before its time. Marble tends to be more of a sedimentary stone, so it is going to break down far quicker when exposed to the weather. Centuries can pass with no change in a granite stone. You can also choose to purchase a monument in a number of different colors and styles, so the stone can be crafted and designed to reflect the personality of the one who has passed.

Even though you don’t have to get a marker for someone who has been cremated, you might want to think twice about not getting one. The marker provides you with a place where you can go to reflect and find comfort in their passing. Some monuments actually hold the ashes inside. It is also an excellent means for marking the genealogical information of loved ones for any future generations to come.

The cost of the monument is going to vary depending on material, size, carving and etchings and the time spent to create and any extras that you add on to the piece like ceramic photos or a vase. Remember, you are going to get what you pay for. Make sure you are purchasing something that is going to last for years.

What Do You Want People to Remember You For?

You move through life from one day to the next like a well-oiled machine. Day in and day out you are doing one thing after another. Some of those things are quite valuable and exciting, while other tasks are mundane. Regardless of who you are, there are always things that you strive for. You want to do good and please all of those around you. Leaving your mark on the world is just one of those things that you want to do during your time on Earth. Heck, maybe we just want to make ourselves happy and do all of those things that we enjoy in life.

Many people don’t consider the aftermath of their actions. They only think about themselves and what they are going to gain out of it in the here and now. In reality, our actions could have a significant effect on all of those around us and how they might perceive themselves for the future. Truthfully, our existence will live on long after we are gone. In the days, nights, months and years once we have passed, our actions will continue to affect those who we cared about the most.

You are only a baby once. You only have one chance to be a toddler, child, teenager, adult and elder. You don’t get multiple times to go back in and make things right. It’s a one shot deal, so you want to make sure you do it right the first time to prevent any undue repercussions. With your one chance, you want to do everything you can to do things right. When you hit that fork in the road, you only get one chance to make a crucial decision. Regardless of what decision lies before you, there are no do-overs. It’s a one-shot deal, so you want to make sure you make the best decision possible. Don’t worry about the pressure being placed on you.

Take the time to make a decision that is going to be in the best interest of yourself and those you love. No matter how much you pine for the past and regret the decisions you made, you cannot change them. They are what they are. You can only dream, wish and hope for a better future. As time progresses, you quickly learn that all of those things you did are an infinite reminder of who you were and what you became.

As humans, we are social beings. We thrive on being around others and communicating with them. In our everyday lives, we are surrounded by people from all walks of life, regardless of whether we like those people or not. You have to think about the fact that you only have a certain amount of days with those individuals, so don’t you want to make the best of it while you can?

Once you pass on, you are never forgotten. Those who knew who you were and had the chance to interact with you are going to have sentiments and thoughts about you and how you lived your life and acted toward others. Since you only have one chance for every moment, you want to make that chance count. People are going to think about the time they spent with you. The conversations they once had with you are unforgettable. For some, they will mourn your passing and lament on how your life was. On the other hand, there will be those who are happy to see you go.

It doesn’t matter what the case may be, you are in control of whether people are going to have positive thoughts about you or ones that are filled with resentment and hate. Don’t let it be the latter. Have a positive influence on everyone you come in contact with. Life isn’t all about what people believe and say once you are gone. It is really about how you lived your life while you were here. Did you make the most of your life? Did you do everything you could to enjoy it? You are the only one who can determine what journey you are going to take, so make it a good one.
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Suicide is Fatal

Last week, fashion designer and stylist, L’Wren Scott took her own life at her Chelsea apartment in New York City. She hung herself. Ms. Scott’s death made newspapers and website headlines around the globe because she was the long-time girlfriend of veteran rocker, Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones. However, Scott is just one of more than 38,000 people who die of self-inflicted injuries in the United States each year. In fact, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in America, according to the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta. Although such persons may have felt alone at the end, on average, a person who commits suicide has six survivors.

Why suicides are particularly difficult for survivors

Grief Talk — What Would You Want To Hear?

Suicide deaths are particularly difficult to handle for both survivors and funeral directors. Often the person is young. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide is the third most common cause of death in Americans aged 15 to 24. Almost always the death is unexpected. Unlike deaths from illness or those who die at the end of a long and happy life, those who die from suicides are healthy one day and gone the next. Rarely do family and friends have an opportunity to say goodbye. Too often survivors are plagued with guilt, wondering if they had missed the signs and/or if there had been anything they could have done to prevent the suicide.

The truth is that 95 percent of people who take their own lives suffer from a mental illness–either diagnosed or un-diagnosed, according to grief speaks.com. Such people generally aren’t thinking about the pain and the anguish their death will cause their friends and family. At that moment, they can only see their own pain.

Suicide is also often a spur-on-the-moment decision. According to a Harvard University study, more than 70 percent of those who survived a suicide attempt said that they tried to end their life within 30 minutes of making the decision. That short window of time, obviously, doesn’t give the person a change to fully examine all of the ramifications and consequences of their action.

Why Suicide funerals are the hardest funerals to swallow

Funerals for those who have committed suicide can be some of the most difficult funerals for funeral directors to plan as well as for families and friends. For one thing, most suicides are unexpected and family and friends haven’t had time to think about what sort of arrangements the deceased may have wanted. That is especially true when a young person dies. In addition, family may still be in shock and denial about their loved one’s death. This can hamper decisions like choosing a casket, a service and a burial site.

Funeral planning suicide: how funeral directors can help

Handling the funeral arrangements for a person who has committed suicide can be a challenge for funeral directors, but it can also be an opportunity for your funeral home to help start the healing process for family and friends.

Helping survivors cope

Funeral directors are in a unique position to help survivors of suicide fatalities to cope with their loved one being gone. According to the Harvard University study, there are several things that funeral directors (and others) can do to help suicide survivors cope.

Normalize the situation. People who have had a family or friend die from a suicide tend to feel isolated and even ostracized from the rest of society. This may come, in part, from traditional church views condemning suicide and the stigma that still remains about suicide. Treating the funeral arrangements and planning as if it were any other funeral can help the family and other survivors cope with the situation. Avoid making the arrangements seem anything but a “typical” funeral.
Allow them to talk. Suicide survivors may have no one else with whom to share their feelings. Allow a little extra time for such consultations so that you have time to listen if necessary.
Provide information about support groups. Suicide survivors may not be comfortable talking to their friends and co-workers about the cause of death. In fact, according to the Harvard University study, nearly half of the survivors surveyed explained the death as an accident or other mishap rather than a suicide. Having information on support groups available can help such persons find others who have been through such a situation and help them to realize that they aren’t the only ones.

Planning a funeral for someone who has committed suicide can be a challenging–and a rewarding–experience. Keeping in mind that family and friends of such persons have special needs in the grieving process and doing what you can to keep the funeral planning as “normal” as possible can go a long way to helping start the healing process for those left behind.

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New Collection of Funeral Poems

#1
We walk through the valley in the shadow of death
Shedding light to the families in grief
We make their loved ones look beautiful one last time
So their goodbye to life is tolerable for those left behind
We hold up those closest to the ones that have passed on
Giving them silent strength to face the sadness ahead
We care for Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister one last time
As if we knew each one of them personally
We offer them the one thing they can’t give to themselves
A dignified goodbye.

#2
I remember grandmother differently.
We would stay up late when I spent the night, much later than mom or dad would let me
We would drink hot cocoa and talk about Santa Claus.
We would bathe her cockatrice parrot together and laugh as he tried to escape the sink.
This is the essence of my grandmother.
Her laugh will follow me down hallways and through deep dreams, it is unforgettable, unexplainable.
They call it her final “resting” place, but I cannot find any rest here.

Then the funeral director came.
He sat and listened when no one else wanted to listen to a 9 year old.
He wanted to know my memories of grandmother, he shared with me his own memories of his “nana”.
When he spoke about grandmother he included my stories, he told everyone she will live on in us.
He let me say goodbye to grandmother alone.

Even now that I am a man, I remember the affect his simple gesture of a warm smile had on my life.
How much laughing together about memories can ease the pain, how humanity can resonate with you.
I want to thank him but there is no adequate way to do so.
He would always tell me “I am just like you, we all go through this, I am happy I can help.”
I will never forget grandmother, and I will never forget the man who helped us truly honor her memory.
Thank you, to everyone who has helped a stranger,
and to the special people who devote their lives to it.

#3
Now that I have gone, imagine instead that I have only returned
Before I entered this world, I was the same as I am now
I truly came from pieces of the universe
I was the universe experiencing itself
Now I have taken a new form
My essence returns to the planet which provided me with so much
My memories, my words, my actions, my loves.
They live on in those that come after me.
If you look for me, look behind your eyelids.
If you weep for me let they be tears that slide out during slumber
If you whisper to me let it be in the ears of my children
If you visit me may it be when you return with me to the next journey

#4
You are not a ghost, we loved you too much to leave anything unfinished.
Yet I hear the house moan for you in the sleeping hours.
I smell your perfume as I let the shower warm my joints, stiff from sleep.
In the corner of my eye the shadows bend as you try to take shape.
When you favorite song comes on, the singer now sings it differently.

If I am haunted by anything, it is the strength of your love.
If there is a ghost it is me, constantly reliving the past.
I am a residual haunting, I am a residual haunting.
If there are skeletons they are within me and closets.

Death cannot touch us, it can only halt us.
Nothing is lost in the end, the time we borrowed goes on.
I do not sleep alone, you are part of every dream.
These creaking boards, these slamming doors.The music of our lives.

#5
The light never begs forgiveness, a beacon of time and being.
A testament of our earthliness, a blindness to our seeing.
The cruelty of the unknown, a callous trait of pace.
The beauty of a garden grown, mirrored by your grace.
Such temporary bliss we share, fleeting until the end.
Great complexity seems unfair, though cast into the wind.
Remember not the tears and woe, remember not the pain.
Reflect the light of years ago, a glow that still remains.
Memories of love and bliss, a legacy to behold.
The light we will always miss, is ours to now unfold.
Infinitely your reflection travels, immortalized and compelling.
Continuing as the future unravels, within us forever dwelling.

#6
Who Broke God’s heart?
When did the world start?
Will she ever get married?
Is she even worried?

Seattle looks great from the looks of things
But I cannot afford your metal wings
I can see from this worn out part of time
It is our last shot so stop and taste the wine

Sandwich shop in downtown New York
Great place to start not so great to stop
A young man gets his plate and sits on down to talk
He asks her how she could and the courtesy of turning calls

His voice is getting louder reverberating off the walls
It is here where it all began you and me Arkansas

Who broke God’s heart?
Her name is lost to memory
but look around and I think you will see
He is trying to capture her in mountains and in trash
The sick that bridge the painted wall, and those hard up for cash
This woman she has plagued him for a billion years or so
He is painting her something, to ease his jealous soul
So many worlds he made none quite suited for
A place where he could recreate that day outside her door he says:

“Why is nothing else like her
All those people down there they are happier
I made them out of searching for a soul like she had
I made a lot of good things and I have seen a lot of bad
But nothing in this universe like her it drives me mad

Suddenly I can taste that evening at the opera house
You and me and death and his former spouse
We used to be friends you know, we used to jam some songs
But now he works against me, I shoulda seen it comin’ all along

You can see the school I went to deep under the sea
The kids I used to play ball with, fire, earth, and seed
The place where we first met, today they call it electricity
The sky can’t begin to hold….girl you are beyond pretty”

He is listening he just expects accountability
He has been through it all can’t you see the writing on the wall
His canvas is your face and his pillow is the sun
But just remember this whole place started with just one

Opened my eyes I hadn’t prayed in so long.
And on my bed God had left this song
at the end it said make it sound like her
Put her grace in each and every verb

I asked with a whisper “God why do you keep this earth”
He said “boy I tell ya, you guys don’t know your own worth.”

#6
The funeral was beautiful, it was like you were there.
These were your guests, not your mourners.
The table was set exactly as you would have it.
All your music was playing throughout, we smiled knowing you picked it.

The funeral home was truly that, a home. Our family filled it with your life.
We celebrated your accomplishments, we spoke of the ferocity with which you loved.
We truly felt the empty space beside us, you had gone on, we would be along ourselves some day.
The time you gave us with you on earth could never be long enough.

The greatest gift you gave us, was also the most temporal, it only made it more beautiful.

#7
Losing you felt like losing myself
I would give up everything to have you back, even my own health.
But life is not that simple and it never will be
The hardest part of all will be setting you free.
This task I fear and I feel too weak to stand
But this task I do not have to do alone, for there is another man.
This man he has cared for not only me but for our family,
This man has created your final resting place and I wish you could see
The calm he has brought and the strength he resonates
Makes me feel that I may be ready to face our fates.
I step to the podium to say my goodbyes
And as I step to that podium I can feel everyone’s eyes.
There is a knot in my throat and tears on my face
How I wish I could go back just to simply erase.
This terror I feel and the pain in my heart
Fades away when I look at that man, and I begin to start.
“Though you are gone you will always be with us,
we are like Dove’s, one is not complete without the other.
But this Dove that remains here is not alone or afraid
for she knows you have sheltered her under your wing.
And though she may not see or hold you again
She knows you are there, watching, loving, and waiting to be together again.”
With my final words I become overwhelmed with emotions sadness
I suddenly begin to feel like I myself may slip into this madness.
But this man, that man, is there in an instant and speaks to keep the order.
To my lover, I have said my goodbyes until time decides that we are ready to fly again.

LEARN HOW TO WRITE A FUNERAL POEM (CLICK HERE)

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Remembering Our Pets when They’re Gone

If you’ve ever lost a beloved pet, you know that empty feeling you get when you open the front door and there’s no longer a wagging, happy tail waiting on the other side. And, although you may eventually open your home to another furry companion, there will always be a special place in your heart and your memory for the one that came before.

Although pictures and videos are nice ways to remember your pet, Cremation Solutions offers tangible remembrances of your dog or cat. We understand how hard it is to lose a pet. We’re pet owners too. That’s why we offer a wide selection of pet memorials, pet urns and pet cremation jewelry. Just a few of the products we offer to help you honor and remember your pet include:

Pet urns. Cremation urns are not just for human remains. At Cremation Solutions, we offer a complete line of pet urns, both simple in design and elaborate, in a variety of sizes. You can choose from urns shaped like a cat or a dog or even a horse’s head. There are small brass or pewter urns in traditional shapes and wooden urns that hold a picture of your pet. We even have an urn that holds a memorial candle.
Pet cremation jewelry.
Has an Inner Chamber to Hold Ashes

Wearing pet cremation jewelry is another way to keep your pet close to you after he or she is gone. These tasteful lockets and pendants have a hollow space in the center where you can add a little of your pet’s fur, ashes or whiskers.
Crystal cremation jewelry. Crystal cremation jewelry uses a tiny bit of your pet’s ashes to create a beautiful and long-lasting crystal that can be crafted into a pendant or set into a ring. It’s a unique and lovely tribute to your pet that you can wear for years to come.
Garden stone memorials. Maybe you want a small stone memorial, plaque or statue to help honor your pet. At Cremation Solutions, we offer stylish markers for your garden that will remind you of your cat or dog every time you work in the flower beds, rake leaves or mow the grass. It’s like having a part of him or her in the garden with you. Garden stone memorials are particurlarly apt for those pets who enjoyed “helping” in the garden when they were alive.
Natural Garden pet memorials. Natural garden pet are the “green” and environmentally-friendly way to honor your pet. Each year, you can see how your pet’s ashes have helped the memorial tree to grow strong and tall. You simply bury your pet’s ashes in the ground when you plant a tree in your garden. Many people also add a small plaque at the base of the tree to quietly honor their furry friend. Planting a natural garden pet memorial is encouraging nature to recycle the energy that was your pet into a long-lasting, beautiful tribute.
Pet paw portraits. Would you like a reminder of your pet that you can hang on your living room or bedroom wall? Our pet paw portraits use an image of your cat or dog’s actual paw print to create a tasteful and attractive piece of wall art. You can choose from 19 background colors and 19 contrasting colors. Pet paw portraits are available in small, medium and large sizes. You can even add text, such as your pet’s name, to the piece.

Remembering your dog, cat or even horse who has reached the end of his or her natural life doesn’t have to be a sad occasion. Of course, you’ll also ways miss them. But with a pet memorial, pet urn or piece of pet jewelry, their memory will be with you for years and years to come. Visit Cremation Solutions to browse the wide variety of ways we offer to help you honor and remember your pet.

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