Losing A Pet and The Steps to Recovery

Dog FuneralsPet ownership is among the deepest pleasures in life. Whether you’re a cat person, a dog person, or a little bit of both, every household feels fuller with the love and affection of a four-legged family member. Having a loving and caring animal to come home to and play with, cuddle with, and bond with is an amazing thing. It provides an insight into the selfless adoration that many people might not otherwise experience.

Funerals for pets

For all of the good things that pets bring into our lives, their deaths can be a brutal loss. While it’s understood that domestic animals don’t live as long as we humans do, often no more than ten to twenty years, Yet dealing with this fact is far easier said than done. Watching the aging process, accepting the decline, and scheduling the euthanasia if necessary can be more painful than you ever imagined. No matter how prepared you are for your pet to leave this earth, saying goodbye creates a profound sense of loss.

Confronting the Idea of Loss

FAMILY
FAMILY

To most pet owners, pets are family. A dog isn’t “just a dog,” and a cat isn’t “just a cat.” As members of your household you see, touch, and interact with them on a daily basis. It doesn’t take long for a deep and enduring bond to develop. Love for a pet is simple and pure, and losing this can sometimes be harder to handle than the loss of the complex relationships that we develop with other people.

Grief manifests itself in many ways, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel once your pet has passed on. The sadness may strike immediately and or it may come in waves of intense pain or when the world around you triggers a memory. You might cry for a while immediately following death, or cry on and off for days or even weeks. This is all completely okay. There is no wrong way to process the loss of a beloved member of your family. However, in order to move forward in a healthy and happy way it is very important to properly process your grief.

Coping With Death

Coping with a permanent loss is rarely an easy battle. The sadness that comes with death often perpetuates for extended periods of time, long after the initial pain has subsided. This can be especially true for those with deep relationships with their pets, or children who may be experiencing death for the very first time.

How you choose to cope with death and your loss can have a distinct impact on your long term well-being. With the right approach, you can work through your emotions and eventually feel at peace with the cherished memories of your beloved pet.

Take Time to Grieve

Urns For Pet Ashes
My Angel

The moments right after the loss of your pet can be the most difficult. The initial emotions will be intense and can include sorrow, regret, and pain. Some pet owners will feel guilt as well, especially for those who made the decision to put down a sick pet.

All of these feelings are natural and completely appropriate. The loss of a pet is very hard, and it’s okay to let your sadness out. If you need time to cry, be angry, or wallow for a while, that is perfectly fine. Don’t let anyone tell you how to mourn and feel free to grieve in your own way on your own schedule without the worry of embarrassment or judgment.

Share Stories and Thoughts

When your pet dies, their memory continues to live on. If you have a spouse, children, friends, or family who knew your pet, don’t be afraid to take some time to share favorite memories or funny stories with them. Grief doesn’t have to be a solitary event, and letting your feelings out can help you appreciate the joy that your pet added to your life.

Saying Goodbye To a PetThis can be especially helpful for families with children. A pet’s death is often the first experience many children have with the concept of permanent loss, and the experience can be very troubling. Tell your child what happened with plain and clear language, avoiding euphemisms and encourage them to ask as many questions as necessary. If they seem particularly sad, comfort them and urge them to share stories and thoughts to help manage the grieving process. By sharing and remembering the good times, you and your child can bond together over love instead of sadness.

Reach Out

Pet Paw Pictures
Custom Paw Portraits

If you feel as though your grief is overwhelming, outside assistance may be beneficial. Many people feel intense sadness when a pet passes away, so your loss will be easy to understand for countless others. Group therapy can be a benefit, giving you a chance to talk about your pet while listening to stories from others dealing with the same struggles.

For those who choose to grieve privately, an appointment with a therapist or a call to a help line may provide guidance as you work through your feelings. Many clinical psychologists and therapists who specialize in grief are happy to work with individuals that have lost pets. Additionally, the ASPCA maintains a Pet Loss Hotline that can be reached at (877) GRIEF-10.

Honor Your Pet’s Memory

Pet Cremation Jewelry
Jewelry With Ashes Inside

Your pet contributed many years of happy memories and good times, so a proper funeral and memorial can be an excellent way to honor and respect their mark on your life. How you choose to do this is up to you, but some pet owners prefer to maintain an urn, plant a tree over a burial spot, or create a photo album of the many happy moments.

Urn For Pet Ashes
Urns For Pets

If you are seeking a truly special way to keep a part of your pet near your heart, cremation jewelry from Cremation Solutions can give you a beautiful, wearable memorial to remember your departed friend. Available as gemstone jewelry, diamonds, keepsakes, lockets, and more. You can find the perfect solution to honor your pet’s memory. Cremation Solutions also offers cremation urns and monuments, providing the flexibility to create a statement in a way that’s best for you and your family.

Puppy Dog HouseOpening Up Your Heart by getting a new pet can be a point of contention after the loss. Some feel as though immediately bringing home a new kitten or puppy is disrespecting the honor of the fallen family member. While others see it as a way to help the heart to heal. Whether you plan to get a new animal right away or choose to take some time to process the loss, opening your heart to the possibility of a new pet can be a great way to add a bright spot to your life. While nothing can ever replace your beloved family member, providing a loving and wonderful life for a new animal in need can help you find comfort and heal your heart.

Despite the pain of loss, pet ownership is both gratifying and fulfilling. When you want to create an enduring memorial to your cat, dog, or other pet, Cremation Solutions can provide you with the resources that you need to keep a much-loved memory alive forever.

When Dogs Grieve We Cry

Dog GriefLosing a dog is always difficult for the owner, but it can be equally hard on the household’s canine companions. According to Dr. Sophia Yin, a San Francisco-based veterinarian and applied animal behaviorist, grief is one of the basic emotions dogs experience, just like people. And just like people, dogs will react differently to the loss of their loved ones. In some cases, dogs recover quickly and do not grieve at all. It all depends on the animal’s individuality. The loss of another dog means the loss of a constant companion of whom the dog was accustomed to daily. As a result, there is a drastic change in the dog’s routine causing him/her to feel disoriented and distressed.

Losing a Dog Friend
Indie and Katie were quite an unusual couple, but they were as close as ever. They spent each day together and were fond of each other. On many occasions, Katie would sleep on Indy’s back at night, her four-pound body rising and falling with his snores. Unfortunately, at age 14, Indy’s health deteriorated and had to be put to sleep (euthanasia). The usually sweet Katie was devastated opting to isolate, refusing to eat, acting nasty and urinating all over the house. It was all too clear that this attention-seeking behavior was a way to express her grief.


Another heartbreaking story is told of Bella the Dog, who refused to leave the side of his companion Beavis the Beaver even after her furry friend had passed away. He lay there sad and confused hoping his friend would wake up.

Signs of Grief

Miss You...
Miss You…

A study from the ASPCA found that two-thirds of dogs show recognizable signs of grieving, such as a decrease in appetite, less barking, clinginess, and lethargy. Others will sleep longer than usual or show a lack of interest in taking walks, playing or participating in their favorite activities. Apart from the decrease in social interaction, some dogs may pace around tirelessly looking for their loved ones.

For those with a couple of the furry friends in their households, it is common to see some pecking order established among them signifying the structure of the park hierarchy. When one of the dogs dies, let’s say the dominant one, the remaining pets role is ill-defined and may act confused for a while before adjusting to the change.

According to The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, 36 percent of dogs ate less than usual after the death of another canine companion. About 11 percent stopped eating altogether. About 63 percent of the grieving dogs vocalized more than normal or became quieter. Study respondents indicated that surviving dogs changed the quantity and location of sleep, with most preferring to sleep at their lost companion’s spots. More than half the surviving pets became more affectionate and clingy with their caregivers as a way of demanding attention. Overall, the study revealed that 66 percent of dogs exhibited four or more behavioral changes after losing a pet companion.


Loss of a Human Companion
Dogs grieve over their fallen masters as well, and their plenty of stories to support this view. Pictures of dogs grieving their human companions have gone viral on several occasions with some sitting on their master’s graveside, perhaps waiting for his return. A photograph of a brown Labrador retriever named Hawkeye lying beside the American flag-draped casket of his human companion, Navy SEAL Jon Tumilson, went viral on the internet. Tumilson was one of the American soldiers killed by a rocket-propelled grenade on August 6th, 2011. When one of Tumilson’s friend went ahead to address the mourners, Hawkeye followed him and lay down in front of the casket for the rest of the service. The moving picture showed that the heartbroken dog represented a possibility that there’s more to our pets’ psychology than has ever been recognized.

A similar story is told of a dog named Hachikō, remembered for his remarkable loyalty to his owner which continued for many years after his owner’s death. Hachikō’s master, Professor Ueno suffered a brain hemorrhage and died on his way home. However, Hachikō waited for his owner, each day at the usual time at Shibuya Station in Tokyo, Japan seemingly awaiting his return for almost ten years. It was evident that the dog was finding it difficult to cope with the absence of his master. The Japanese people recognized the dog’s remarkable act of loyalty and he became a national sensation. Though some may argue that Hachikō’s behavior was a mere ritual, others might recognize it as grief. Many of us have witnessed animals’ grief when they lose their loved ones, and their behavior speaks louder on their untold suffering and loneliness.

imgres-2What goes on in a dog’s head when a loved one dies can be compared to what happens in the mind of a very young child of between two to five years. Children do not comprehend that the life functions of their loved ones have hit an inevitable end, and this is reflected in the questions they ask as they try to understand the situation. Children will ask questions like, ‘ Will daddy come for my birthday?’, ‘Should we put grandma’s favorite cookie in the coffin in case she is hungry?’ Just like children do not have the concept of the permanence of death, dogs also stay hopeful that their loved ones will return as evidenced by Hachikō.

When one dog in a multi-dog household is gravely ill, it may help for the healthier dogs to be present during euthanasia, or at least for the animal to see the deceased dog’s body, says Dr. Pachel. This way, the dog can have closure rather than being left searching for its companion long after it’s gone. Like in Hawkeye’s case, having an opportunity to lie near the casket of his deceased owner, if it’s a possible scenario, may help the dog to understand the process better.

How to Deal with the Loss
Sorrow and grief are natural responses to death and owners should not feel like they need to shield themselves or their children from the sadness of losing a pet by either not talking about the pet’s death, or by not being honest about what happened. The stress of losing a beloved pet can be emotionally draining thus the need to look after your emotional and physical needs. Talk about it whenever you can and give yourself time to grieve in your own way. Other ways to help you cope with the loss of a pet in a healthy way include;

Reaching out to others who have lost pets
Find someone who lost a beloved pet as they are in a position of relating and understanding what you are going through. It can be done by checking out online message boards, pet loss hotlines, and pet loss support groups. Such forums can give you helpful advice that will facilitate your healing process.

Seeking professional help when necessary
The American Psychological Association assures us of human resilience, recommending the help of mental health professionals if needed, to help deal with grief. If your grief becomes constant and gets in the way of normal functioning, you might consider getting the help of a professional.

Maintaining the routine for the remaining pets
Stick to your pet’s usual routine by keeping regular meal schedules, walk times, play times etc. Don’t rush into adopting another animal for your surviving animal companions’ sake. They need time to grieve, too, and introducing a new family member too soon may cause more stress. If you eventually choose to get another pet, try to pick one that will fit in with your remaining pet, when the time is right. If you feel your dog needs other canine companions, but aren’t ready for another pet yet, try the dog park, a doggy play date with a friend that has dogs or book a training class for your pet.

Time heals
Just like with human grief, it all gets better with time. Each animal mourns for a different period, and so do humans. Some get over it sooner while others take a while to bounce back. Be patient with your dog as most dogs will come out of their grieving process and form new attachments within a few weeks or months. It’s important to monitor your pet closely paying attention to other forms of illnesses that may not be necessarily grief.

Caring for your pet and helping him through his grief is a rewarding experience that can also assist you and other family members with the healing process. Engage your pets in activities like a walk in the park, a ride in the car, a soothing brush or a game of fetch. This will help strengthen the bond and allow for an easier transition process.